Sitting in his seat and looking through the window, he was immersed in his imagination.
Voices were everywhere; some were laughing; some were talking; some were just silent.
He was only experiencing an awkward feeling: the feeling of nothing . . .
Nothing is about those hordes of people surrounding you without a reason,
the fallacious moments of fake smiles and laughter, the feeling of emptiness,
and those weird thoughts of being different from that people – You are different,
and you’re escaping from such a truth. Life is chilly dull. The contemporary happenings are just “null”. You should admit that you’re alone although you have more than one thousand friends! They are just filling that mock bare space inside you.So, in order not to be that jerk unsocial person, you are forced to make those deceptive friendships. Being alone is actually a harsh perish.
What’s loneliness? it’s not about being isolated from the whole world, trapped in a cell,
or being the last civil in a lost island: it’s about being away spiritually,
not physically. It’s about the feeling of desolation. “Why I am supposed to be between this
people?”, “Why should I talk, communicate, or even make relationships with that hated people? Whooa, I should. I can’t be alone. . . ” Actually, you are not anything but alone. You are running away into a swarm of people to make those fake relationships in order to think that you’re a little bit satisfied. You are seeking that sentence “Oh, I am not alone.” ignoring the truth of being alone from your interior. Even words can’t express such feeling, however, I am sure that you are so sentimental to feel what’s between these words. I can’t give it a definition: each defines on its own.
“That feeling” is experienced when you become no longer able to talk and have fun with people, even close friends. Loneliness is all about you, feelings, attempts, choices, characteristics. Relive that wedding party. You were only sitting, surfing social media websites, and doing nothing or that school graduation party, summer trips, family meetings, outings with people who you think that they love you. You’re just crying for nothing: crying for only crying. You seem stiff and rude. You are only talking to that characters inside you. You’re just alone, and you don’t want to be anything else.
Each sentence here is alone. Each gives a new, separate meaning. Each fails to describe it alone, however, each focuses on a very tiny part of that feeling.